ASK GHAIRO :
SPIRITUAL QUESTIONS ANSWERED 2
QUESTION : I LOST
MY SON IN A TAXI HIT AND RUN ACCIDENT 3 YEARS AGO. I AM STILL GRIEVING AND
SWEARING. I SMOKE INCESSANTLY AND DRINK MASSES OF COFFEE. HOW DO I START A
PROCESS OF FORGIVING AND HEALING
Losing a loved one before one spent sufficient time with
them or enjoyed their company as much as we would have liked to, is not easy.
If this is a child it is very, very painful. No amount of advice or any
recommendations can take away this pain and the wound can bleed for many years.
The pain however becomes harder to bear, when one runs away from it by
embarking on strategies which do not allow one to fully feel the pain, sit
through it and then release it.
One has to touch pain and loss for it to be released. There
is no other way. More often than not, persons who have gone through similar
turmoil and turbulence will cross your path to hold your hand or the presence
of friends and family will offer strength when yours is flagging. Accept this
assistance. There is no point in appearing to be strong, when actually one
feels overwhelmed.
As a human being, one has to experience all kinds of
emotions from the severest pain to the heights of ecstasy. These are all the
colours of God. One has to be with all of them and sit tight, knowing that
through all, God is the stabilizing, trusted Source of everything including
what is known as death. This All Encompassing Being puts out what we need to
grapple with for us to grow and expand, for us to release fears and to enlarge
our Hearts. Death is the movement to another form of Beingness.
It is useful to let go gradually, if a loved one passes on.
For example, it often is more painful to surround yourself with images of the
loved one or material things that belonged to him or her. Acceptance is a very
high form of consciousness and in releasing the person, we Accept God’s will.
In moving towards a state of acceptance, release the images, the possessions,
the products of the person. This will also allow the being to move further into
space, timelessness and freedom and closer to God. When release does not
happen, the loved one remains tied to Earth realm and imprisoned in space
through non-acceptance and grief of family members or friends.
Grief is a low vibrational energy. One sits with it for a
while, know it and the heartache it brings and then move on, to the next
emotion we have to learn about. Coffee, certain foods, addictive relationships,
nicotine are all crutches which hold us together. Leaning on these will always
keep one in a state of dependence and away from Spirit and One-ness with God.
When we become aware of this, we can use our will and effort
to relinquish the crutches. Set the intent to let go and God and other unseen
helpers will assist. For example, as soon as the urge for caffeine arises, know
that it is a crutch and do something more invigorating, like going for a walk
or having a shower. The urge will leave. If it comes back, its hold on you will
be less. Each time one overcomes a desire, its hold lessens.
A grieving process needs to take its full course, then pass.
One cannot sit in it forever, or it creates havoc in the physical body and in
the inner workings of cells. It can also affect one’s immune system. It is
useful to talk to a healer when you suspect that you are in grief. Sometimes we
are in grief and do not know this. Or we might be grieving about one thing or
person and think it is grief about something else. A very intuitive healer will
be able to lift this out and facilitate the letting to.
In the end, everything and everyone belongs to God. We are
only the guardians of material things for a while, including loved ones like
children. When we keep reminding ourselves that we enjoy the company of others
so that we learn from them and they from us, it becomes easier to let go.
Giving gratitude to God for the time spent with a child that has passed on,
assists to put our relationship with the Divine in the centre of our
consciousness.
Know also that all souls choose their time spent on the
Earth realm. Any soul knows beforehand how it will pass over. A central understanding on a spiritual path
is that no-one can make choices for others. This is so when beings change their
form as well.
Passing on is only moving into another form of existence.
Life goes on in Infinity just as life needs to go on, when in material form.
QUESTION : HOW
DOES DIET AFFECT SPIRITUAL PROGRESS. IS IT NECESSARY TO STOP EATING THE FOODS I
LOVE, LIKE HAMBURGERS AND CHIPS ?
In my experience diet
does affect spiritual progress. You really are what you eat. Food is an
essential part of your material conglomerate, which is one with your spirit. For example, when an animal is killed for
whatever reason a certain amount of hormones are released because of the fear
of death. These hormones remain in the animal flesh even though it is cured and
processed. When eating animal flesh, a human imbibes these fear hormones. The
food becomes part of your make-up, so animal fear hormones becomes part of your
own flesh. Fear attracts fear. With fear not much spiritual progress can be
made. Animals also have a degree of consciousness. When we move to a position
that we are all One Consciousness, how is it possible to “eat” of another with
Consciousness ?
The purer the foods one eats, the purer ones make-up. It is
best to eat fresh fruit and vegetable, preferably organic, when embarking on a
spiritual path. The more “live” the vegetable and fruit, the closer to Nature, the
closer to Divinity. This is also best for one’s physical body as such foods
contain the highest quality vitamins and minerals. The healthier the body, the
better it can be used as a channel for God’s purposes.
Other foods that do not block meridians are sprouted seeds,
grains and legumes, fresh wheatgrass juice, raw soups, nut milks, soaked ground
nuts and seed sauces. Cooking food destroys valuable vitamins. Delicious raw
food recipes are widely available nowadays.
One becomes accustomed to what one eats. So changing a
dietary pattern is possible when serious about walking a spiritual path. Change
your diet gradually, by removing toxins from the kidneys, liver and glands. A
homeopath can make recommendations of how to do this. It is also useful to
consult an Ayuvedic dietitian who will give recommendations based on your body
type.
One can enjoy a high vibrational diet and cleanse the taste
buds over time. Enjoying the true flavour of fresh fruit and vegetables is
uplifting in itself. You will soon not want to eat the usual fried chips and
hamburgers. Frying coats food making it difficult to digest and fat at a high
temperature is known to be carcinogenic.
Cooked food can become addictive, especially if processed
with MSG, and other flavorants and preservatives. Some flavorants and
colorants feed viral cellular patterns,
which make it difficult to reach the cell centre, where Godhead is very
prevalent.
A detoxification diet will energize the body, making one
more zestful and enthusiastic. The mind will become more alert and a closer
connection to Spirit can be forged within a shorter time. So hamburgers and
chips in moderation is OK, if you must, but know that it is not life-sustaining,
neither is it cleansing and it does stimulate cravings towards lower
vibrational stances. Also be aware that a desire for food is one of the five
desires we need to overcome, the other being desire for sleep, sex, money and
fame. Ultimately, these desires trap us and act as lures.
QUESTION : DO
AFFIRMATIONS REALLY WORK ?
It is my perception that affirmations by and of itself will
not work. It can re-programme the patterns of the mind at superficial levels
and move to deeper levels when it is done alongside other methods of bringing
about change in behaviour and habits.
For example, one cannot keep affirming “ I am a valuable divine child of God “
and then keep on smoking cigarettes. This would be hypocrisy as nicotine is
known to destroy lungs. How can one move back towards divinity when one is also
on a path of destruction ?
Affirmations are really about affirming the TRUTH. However,
when working with affirmations, we work primarily with programming the mind.
For such programming to take effect, other older patterns need to be released.
One cannot, for example, repeat, “ I love and approve myself” a hundred times a
day, when deep in the recesses of the mind, and in body cellular memory, there
lurks the pattern of “I am not good enough”.
Ingrained memory patterning needs to be loosened as well as cellular
negative programming existing in body cells. A multi-pronged strategy on a
spiritual path is best. Yoga, massage, regular exercise in the fresh air will
all assist in purifying cells and loosen ingrained memory patterns which no
longer serve, so that affirmations one
works with becomes more effective.
If the mind is very busy, it is useful to repeat
affirmations like anchors or mantras, which can help still the mind and take it
back to a positive focal point. In this way, affirmations are effective.
It is best to design an affirmation programme yourself as you
know best what you would like to change about behavior. Some spiritual specialists say that
one needs to work with a specific affirmation for 21 days, some say 40 days. My
view is that the affirmations you need to work with will come to you or attract
you. Work with it until you feel it is part of you. Sometimes an affirmation
will come, then it will go and come back later. All this is fine.
Work with awareness in the present moment when repeating an
affirmation. In other words, do not repeat it, parrot fashion. I would advise to do affirmations at a
particular time each day, so that one becomes disciplined about a reprogramming
regime and change can be speeded up.
In the final analysis, to attain Enlightenment, all thought
forms, including affirmations, need to be released, the mind dissolved so that
in the state of emptiness, we attain ONENESS with all. Affirmations are useful
as a step on the path, but it does not suit everybody. Affirmations in a
spiritual language like Sanskrit or Quaranic verse carry very high vibratory
force.
QUESTION : I FEEL
FRUSTRATED THAT I AM NOT DEVELOPING FAST ENOUGH. WHAT CAN I DO ?
Often when one is initiated onto a spiritual path, one tends
to observe others on a similar path and judge where you are, based on that.
Judgement is an activity of the mind and frustration could arise from such
judgement. Our mind sets up expectations and goals and then tries to meet them.
Sometimes it tries to force a way and can even become aggressive or obsessive
about making progress whether this is progress on a spiritual path or progress
in the dense physical realm.
On a spiritual path, movement is not based on judgement by
the ego. There are no goalposts and no races to be won. We are all on a
spiritual path, in the end, really. We just don’t always know it. We are guided
by Spirit in totality and by spirit guides who appear from time to time.
How one develops is based on what one’s soul-spirit is ready
to do and be. This is largely determined by Grace based on your intent, willingness
and ego-less effort and service. It carries with it karmic legacies, the karma
of your group, family and even country. It also carries with it a
pre-programmed unfolding.
As soon as you start feeling frustrated, let go. I have
found that the easiest way to do this, practically, is to concentrate on the
breath, the inflow and the outflow. In Zen beginner meditation, one counts from
1 to 10 and start again at 1. 1 on the in breathe and 2 on the out breath. Such
a exercise quickly and easily takes one
to the HERE and the NOW, the present moment. The present moment is actually the
only thing that exists. What one does or do not do, in the present moment,
determines the next step.
Trust your inner self and trust that you are doing the best
you can at any given moment. Feel the frustration, then let it go as a passing
emotion, in the same way you finish a bout of crying or a bout of laughter.
Everything passes. The internalization of this is the remedy to all
frustration.
When focusing on the present moment, and the feelings that
arise in the body in the present moment, one can let go of these feelings. A
way out of judging progress then arises naturally, right in front of us. It is
when the mind WANTS to run ahead or dwell on what is not done, or sets
unrealistic goals, that frustration creeps in.
Everybody develops in his/her unique way. No two paths are
exactly alike. This is the beauty of creation and being on a path. The Path is
your own. You determine the pace. Do this determination without forcing the
way. So it is and so it shall be.
